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    The term 'White Widow' is the name Possibility Management has adopted to distinguish the Box survival strategy #2 which uses sexual energy to control and manipulate the environment to make it safe.


    This strategy is figured out when you as a child see that cuddling in your daddy's lap, batting your pretty little eyes and stroking him, or looking into your mom's eyes and being a 'good boy' and mixing your sexual energies together gets you more of what you want and less abusive attention.


    Both men and women can become White Widows.


    Although a Capitalist Patriarchal Empire tends to force more women than men to take on the White Widow strategy.


    The White Widow strategy is neither bad nor wrong nor stupid. It works to survive.


    However, like any Box survival strategy, once you become 18 years old, what once protected you has now become your prison. After 18 years old your White Widow sexual energy enmeshment and exchange manipulation strategies are co-opted by your Gremlin to serve Shadow Principles and this blocks you from authentic intimacy.


    The term 'Black Widow' is the name that Possibility Management has given to the Box survival strategy of a person who has been sexually abused and has dedicated themselves to revenge. This is a desperate strategy, but understandable.


    A Black Widow woman typically wears skin-tight shiny-black leggings with high heels, amplifies her cleavage, and does whatever it takes to steal the attention of men of the Capitalist Patriarchal Empire and make them drool even if (especially if...) they are walking arm-in-arm with their wife.


    The Black Widow will wrap the man around her finger, use him for whatever, then flick him away like a dry bugger.


    Black Widows do not usually participate in transformational trainings or initiatory processes such as Expand The Box or Possibility Labs because they are so completely identified with the Black Widow survival strategy that they are afraid nothing else is possible and their Gremlin does not want to sacrifice vengeance as its Gremlin Food.


    The term 'Grey Widow' is the name that Possibility Management has given to the Box survival strategy of a person who might have been sexually abused, and if not sexually physically abused than energetically abused and uses sexual energy as a weapon against the opposite or same sex.


    The Grey Widow is colored by both the survival strategy of the White Widow - the innocent manipulation - and the Black Widow - the dedicated revenge.


    A Grey Widow has more determination in destroying her sexual partner.


    Grey Widow can participate in and benefit from transformational training spaces.

  • FAQ

    Frequently Asked Question

    1. How to identify if I am a White Widow?

    Whether you are wondering if you are a White Widow, or if your partner is, or a total stranger, the procedure is the same.


    For Female White Widow

    A White Widow sits across from the authority figure in a training, course, workshop, classroom, ... Often legs or mouth open circulating the sexual energy between her and the authority figure.


    A White Widow always surrounds herself with 3,4,5,6 men around at a party. She drinks from their glasses and offer her glass for them to drink from it. She dances with every men she decide to be attractive - whether they are in a relationship and the woman is in the room or not.


    A White Widow imperceptibly and regularly touches men, their elbows, their arms, their waist when passing by them or sitting next to them at a dinner party.


    A female White Widow wears cleavage, see-through top, short skirts, high heels, red lipsticks and such.


    A White Widow uses any tactic she can to attract men's attention: being late, asking irrelevant questions, making side comments, any excuses to come talk to the teacher at the end of the lesson.


    A White Widow usually do not have authentic friendship either with men or with women. Their friendship with men is ambiguous, which confuses their male friend. Withe Widow will often find themselves in situation where their male friends have 'fallen in love' with them. White Widow sends two contradictory messages: one full of sexual energy attracting the man in her web, the other, intellectual says 'I just want to be friends'. Male friends usually go away confused or stick around and let themselves be played with.

    Their friendship with women is as ambiguous, the White Widow usually has some women friends. Those are usually not White Widow. The competition between White Widow is fierce for male attention. White Widow betrays, triangulates, gossips to undermine any other woman in their way. White Widow has for goal to attract all masculine energy, how do you think the girlfriend takes it?


    For Male White Widow


    2. How do I "deal" with a White Widow?

    One word: boundaries. And distinctions. Distinctions are more powerful than boundaries... and sometimes boundaries are necessary.


    As for any other survival strategy, if someone around you is using their Box on you or using you for Gremlin food, it is up to you to say "Stop".



    Learn to Say "Stop". Stop is a boundary. Say "Stop" whenever they start using their unconscious sexual energy on you, no matter if you notice it in the middle of conversation, in the middle of the street, in the middle of a meeting or a dinner party.

    This is your life too, and your friendship, and your sanity.

    This could turn out to be the biggest service you might do for them. They might have been waiting since they were a child to have that boundary.

    You might say "Stop, it is enough. Your survival strategy is not working on me. I want to be friends (or partner) with you, not with your survival strategy. I want to discover your authentic self. I am not available for inauthentic connection. Thank you for listening. Talk to me when you are ready for something different."



    That is another boundary, a physical one. It applies only for women to men. A loud voice is usually enough to wake up a woman to her actions, it is proven to be not enough for a man to wake up. Prove me wrong.

    When a man touches you, makes you a patriarchal offer: twist one of his fingers or break his nose. It brings him straight to the present moment. Don't say anything and run.


    You can practice by breaking carrots.

  • Healing Process

    Becoming bigger than your Box+Gremlin strategy

    No one can do this for you.

    And no one can stop you from doing this.

    It is up you.

    It is your life after all, your relationship, your capacity to love and by loved, your level of intimacy and authenticity.



    Identifying as a With Widow

    Getting bigger than your White Widow Box and Gremlin begins by identifying yourself to your friends as a White Widow and explaining in excruciating details what it means and how it works.



    Stop All Intimate Interaction

    For a period of one to two years stopping all intimate interactions. Yes, all of them. There is no way around this.

    This means:

    - not looking into people's eyes especially people of the opposite sex.

    - no flirting.

    - no sexual jokes.

    - no suggestive touch


    This is difficult because in a short time you will notice your addiction to your automatic sexual energy enmeshment and control behaviors. It helps to write them down as precisely as you can, and admit them each week in your Possibility Team.



    Find Intimacy in New Context

    After you have built and stabilized in a new identity and self-experience that does not have your clever sexual energy exchange behaviors at its center, you will find that authentic intimacy is possible again but in an entirely new Context, namely the Context of Radical Responsibility and Living rather than avoiding Responsibility and Survival.



    Use Your Energetic Awareness in Service

    During this time you might notice that you still retain the subtle energy-awareness talents you developed to become a White Widow, and you can use them again now consciously for enjoyment and pleasures, and probably also as part of your skillset needed to deliver the healing and transformational services of your Archetypal Lineage to help other people heal and grow up.

  • Story of Convalescence

    Dear Clinton,
    This letter might come as a surprise to you. Well, I just felt the urge to send these lines to you and share some of my insights and experiences of the last few months.
    But let me start from the beginning (which, looking back, was rather like an end). It was about two years ago. I participated in your training (it must have been my sixth or seventh training), and, maybe you remember, my process was about my stories going on with women and sex. It was my toughest and most persistent and lasting process so far. When after an eternity the training was finally over, it didn’t feel like any “endings” I experienced before. Before, [after a training] there was always this relief, a new vision, a clarity, something got healed. This time I felt like I’d been annihilated. I felt so miserable that I wasn’t even able to drive home. Fortunately another man stayed with me and took over the job of driving the car.
    During the next 2-3 months, although still feeling miserable, I did as you suggested: I didn’t connect in any way with women, neither women-friends I knew from before nor the unknown woman at the counter of a shop. No eye contact, nothing! It felt horrible, but I somehow knew that that was the only right thing to do. Somehow, that was the easy part, the logical understandable steps on the way. The difficult, frightening part of it was that this process scattered my whole life-plan, my whole story, a story about me, which I thought so far was true and more or less ok! This identity was gone, completely, only some fragments left here and there. I was in a big despair, in the middle of a nightmare: the old identity didn’t work anymore, most of it wasn’t even there anymore, and besides that, there was just this void. During these months I hated you. I was convinced, that you had made a big mistake, that you had gone too far, that you lost all respect and in a sadistic way enjoyed “killing” me. As a result I decided to never do another training, to look for something nice and gentle. I quit my long-term training program and withdrew from my spiritual path.
    So far this was a description of my internal emotional process. What happened on the outside is that I really was not able anymore to live the way I did before. During my process you said: “Mister, the game is over!” I didn’t get it then, but I got it much, much later! The women / sex – game was (and still is) definitely over!
    During the 18 months afterwards, it was like a pendulum had swung from one extreme to the opposite extreme. I didn’t have any contact at all in the first few months, then slowly started to meet women once in awhile, but still staying very distanced and cautious. I really began to think that this was going to be my new style of life: the u-turn from the womanizer I used to be into a monk.
    Now, in August 2001, things are different again. The pendulum found a balance! I’m in love with a wonderful woman. We met about 9 months ago for the first time, then met maybe every second week in the beginning, both being very cautious and respectful. By now we meet nearly daily, and, this really sounds incredible, since about a week or so we hold hands once in a while. Two years ago this idea of a very slow, gentle approach was just not part of my imagination. It was about going to bed with a woman as fast as possible, and then (maybe) starting to get to know the person.
    It’s the complete opposite now. We talk and talk for hours, have wonderful walks in nature, and we just are both so fully nurtured with that. There’s nothing missing! It’s so beautiful. I feel like a 14-year old adolescent, being in love with a girl for the first time.
    Only now, looking back, I realize how fucked up in relation to relationship, women, and intimacy I was. I am so grateful that things have changed into such a positive way. And I must admit, it’s thanks to you. You were the midwife of this much saner person I am now! No one else had the courage, the knowledge, the strength and the stubbornness to beat “me” with such a heavy club. With “me” I talk about all my destructive, egoistic, hurting, isolating mechanisms going on. I really feel like I am being healed on a very deep level. Like for the first time I can see what intimacy really means. I’m so grateful and happy you’ve shown up in my life and hit me so hard. It was absolutely necessary, and who knows, without your smack, I would probably still be on this very self-destructive track.
    By the way, two months ago I finished my long-term training (with a little delay), I joined another training in spring, and I joined a men’s group again! I am also much closer again to my spiritual path.
    I am looking forward to see you again some day. With deepest respect,